2.5 stars (out of 5)
There have been attempts to film the hugely popular TV series The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (1964 – 1968) for decades, with plans continually falling apart due to changing political landscapes (potential updatings kept outdating themselves), budgetary (and FX) concerns, Tom Cruise’s ego and much more. And while Guy Ritchie (riding high again after those two Robert Downey Jr Sherlock Holmes pics) might have seemed a good choice to finally bring the long-discussed property to the screen, the end result is super-snazzy and elaborately retro-looking without generating any real excitement, and features irksome stars who seem puzzled as to what the heck’s going on.
In keeping with the basic rule of filming a smallscreen fave (ie keep the title and a glimmer of the central idea and change everything else), this begins in a divided Germany in 1963 as CIA agent Napoleon Solo (British actor Henry Cavill playing American) approaches a very un-mechanic-looking mechanic named Gaby (Swedish actress Alicia Vikander playing German). It transpires that (um…) she’s the daughter of a nuclear scientist who’s recently gone missing, and somewhat improbably would-be Cold-War-enemies Solo and KGB operative Illya Kuryakin (American actor Armie Hammer playing Russian) must team up to protect her, although she doesn’t exactly look like she needs protecting, as the petite Vikander is the only one here with any real spunk.
This unlikely set-up, with Solo and Illya perhaps-or-perhaps-not plotting to kill each other, fighting over the girl and (yawn…) male-bonding away like crazy, is naturally an excuse for lots of daft stunts, lame jokes, cool ‘60s fashions and irritating editing and camera tricks, some of which seem more influenced by Ritchie’s Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch than the swinging ‘60s. But it scarcely matters, as the whole thing is so damn dopey, and Cavill and Hammer so smugly annoying, that you’ll be longing to send everyone involved to a Siberian gulag by the end.
I Wake Up Screening 