2.5 stars (out of 5)
It’s been 15 years since star/co-writer/director Ben Stiller’s original Zoolander, and while the world has moved on, the great affection for the hopelessly dimwitted character hasn’t diminished, meaning that Ben and his bigtime pals have returned for this considerably dopier sequel. Or maybe they just couldn’t think of anything, you know, new?
After years spent alone and forgotten in the wilds of New Jersey we meet Derek Zoolander (BS), the lame-brained former supermodel and fashion icon whose life turned to crap firstly when his wife Matilda Jeffries died (Stiller’s actual missus Christine Taylor does cameo though) and then when his young son Derek Jr. was taken away after an unfortunate spaghetti incident. Dumbo Derek is convinced to come out of hiding (by his old mate Billy Zane, as himself) and attend a Rome fashion show, and of course then discovers that his long-alienated, supposedly disfigured buddy Hansel (Owen Wilson, of course) is also on the bill.
The ghastly fashion world has turned ugly (actually uglier) in their absences, and after tangling with the bizarre and levitating Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig) and the questionably-gendered ‘All’ (Benedict Cumberbatch, believe it or not), Derek and Hansel are publicly embarrassed. Luckily, however, the chance for redemption turns up in the bosomy form of Valentina Valencia (Penélope Cruz), an agent from Interpol’s Fashion Division who informs Derek that some of the world’s biggest stars have recently been getting murdered and dying with ‘Blue Steel’ on their gobs (and yes, Justin Bieber is one of them in the elaborate opening gag given away in the trailer). What’s all this got to do with the absurdly gormless Derek? And the imprisoned, supervillain-ish Mugatu, played again by a spectacularly over-the-top Will Ferrell? Or anything like a comedy script with something like plot sense and, ahem, laughs?
Jaded and rather mean-spirited (unlike the almost sweet original), this throws in lots of dubiously raunchy humour and a small army of Ben’s chums in silly bits (none of them as funny as the first film’s appearance by the late great David Bowie), but none of it’s especially amusing, and the whole thing tends to feel strained, leaden and unfashionable. Or have we all just grown the Hell up since Part 1? Was 2001 really that long ago?!? Say cheese!!!
I Wake Up Screening 